And How 'Bout Those Red Sox!

I recently expressed benign skepticism (I'll call it) concerning the rumors of imminent reunification of the Western and Eastern Church and Fr. Alvin Kimel seems to share that skepticism. He recently posted on the website TitusOneNine an imagined transcript of the discussion on reunification that took place between the Pope and Russian Orthodox Archbishop Hilarion Alfeyev at Castel Gandolfo, the Pope's summer palace, on September 18th.

Hilarion: “I love Beethoven.”
Pope: “So do I. He’s my favorite composer.”
Hilarion: “Mine, too. Karl Barth definitely got it wrong. Beethoven is better than Mozart.”
Pope: “I cannot agree more.”
Hilarion: “I’d much rather talk about music than the Filioque.”
Pope: “I cannot agree more. I feel like there is a growing understanding between us.”
Hilarion: “Patriarch Kirill loves Beethoven, too, though not as much as he loves Tschaikovsky.”
Pope: “Those darn Russians ... but Beethoven is a good start. Let’s all get together soon. But not in Moscow. It’s just too cold there. How about Paris? I’ve always loved Paris.”
Hilarion: “What a wonderful suggestion. I’m sure Kirill will be delighted to join us. You bring the cognac. I’ll bring the vodka.”
Pope: “Sounds great. But please ... no arguments on the Filioque, ok? I haven’t read Augustine’s De Trinitate in years.”
Hilarion: “Augustine who?”