Tuesday, February 27, 2007

A Newspaper Story We're Not Likely to See


CIVIL UNREST IN CALIFORNIA AFTER FILM DIRECTOR CLAIMS TO HAVE DISCOVERED TOMB OF CHRIST

By Rooters
February 27, 2007

Widespread civil unrest erupted today in cities throughout California as masked Christian anarchists smashed store windows and hurled rocks and bottles at police and national guard troops trying to restore order. The protesters were expressing unhappiness with director and atheist James Cameron’s assertion in his new documentary, "The Lost Tomb of Christ," that an ossuary discovered in Israel contained the actual bones of Jesus Christ, thus contradicting the biblical account his resurrection and ascension. Cameron also claims the ossuary may have contained the bones of Jesus' "wife and child." Outraged Christian demonstrators insisted such claims were "blasphemous" and vowed vengeance on all those who made them.

"Death to the great Satan Cameron," repeatedly shouted Sister Mary Elizabeth Seton, a Roman Catholic nun in full habit, as she hurled Molotov cocktails into a Blockbuster Video Outlet in Los Angeles. "We will seek out the infidel Cameron, his entire family and send them straight to hell! Ave Maria!" Another protester, Brother Juniper, a Franciscan monk, called for the "beheading" of all those seen entering theaters where Cameron's film was showing. He and other monks were later seen overturning and torching a police car.

Civil leaders and church officials in California urged calm. From his office in Sacramento, the Rt. Rev'd Disraeli C. "Trip" Madison, Episcopal Bishop of the Diocese of Central California, said that while he and "the vast majority of Christians deplored the violence," it was important to understand the "root causes of Christian antagonism toward atheists" and he urged "dialogue and engagement" between the two groups. Bishop Madison also called for more outreach programs in the schools promoting toleration and acceptance of atheists among Christians.

Meanwhile, the president of Atheists in America, Helen Jackson, at a press conference today, demanded increased police protection at atheist houses of worship such as pornography outlets and public schools after receiving multiple threats. Standing along side Ms. Jackson was Yuseff Ibrahim Abdul, imam of the third largest mosque in San Bernardino, who expressed solidarity with his "atheist brothers" in their struggle against extremest Christians. He and Ms. Jackson called for a "national day of prayer or whatever" for both atheists and Muslims next Sunday. "It's time to stop the violence," the imam said.

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