Wasting No Time Wearing Out My Welcome

My first RC Mass in the hinterlands: not so ghastly, actually. Owing to obligations Sunday morning, I attended the Vigil Mass (a mild harumph) at a small RC Church not far from Bovina (if there are any Roman Catholics in Bovina, they must number only in the single digits).

What I didn't like:

1. The didactic, namby-pamby, sing-songy English of the N.O. English translation, fit for delivery by a kindergarten teacher: "Good morning, boys and girls, the Lord be with you." "Good morning, Miss Krabappel, and also with you." I've never understood that "also with you" (the Piskies do the same in the '79 Prayer Book). In the N.O. Latin, just as in the Traditional Mass, it reads, et cum spiritu tuo--"and with thy (or "your," if you like) spirit." And would someone tell me why the Latin Mass states Credo (not Credimus) in unum Deum but its English counterpart states "WE believe in one God?" There, like General Buck Turgidson in "Dr. Strangelove," I'm beginning to smell a big fat commie rat.

2. The singing: it's been said Catholics can't sing. That's not quite right, Catholics won't sing. All the hymns (four of them) were well known, easy and accompanied fairly competently on the electronic appliance. Despite that, most of those around me didn't even bother to pick up a hymnal, preferring to stand mute and stare ahead. This Anglican finds that the most discouraging about his future Catholic brethren: they don't even try.

What I did like:

1. The church itself: it was built ca. 1850 and has charm, albeit less than it must have had in earlier days, having been Vatican II Councilized with the picnic table altar and no altar rail (and yes, the Kirk chair; two of them, actually!).

2. The homily/sermon: it was a long one, this Anglican felt right at home. What's more, it was good. Given by an fine old Queens-born Irishman, it properly centered on the readings, of course, but the priest wasn't afraid to have at anti-Catholic bias in the media, singling out the New York Times, as well as the media's unrelentingly pro-abortion stance. It did my heart good to hear that.

3 (and most heartening). The attendance: the small church was packed, even on a Saturday evening. Many of those attending were young (young!), no doubt owing, in part, to there being a college nearby. Parishioners were welcoming (not so, I understand at many RC churches) and I quickly no longer felt the stranger.

So will I be back? Absolutely, the positives far outweighed the negatives and when you add sound doctrine and the unquestioned validity of the sacraments, it's a no-brainer. Just one plea to Christ's Vicar on earth: please, please, please, hurry up with the new English translation I keep hearing is on the way. And while you're at it, can we deep-six that kiss of peace/handshake business? We can commune with our neighbors before and after church. During church, let's keep it to God alone.