The Epic Struggles of Our Life's Journey

Some recent commercial correspondence with Amazon and Amazon vendor The Deal Rack :

Correspondence from Amazon:

Here is a copy of the e-mail that you sent to The Deal Rack. Order ID 105-9428362-3853848: 1 of Harvard Square Pullover Hooded Nylon Pouch Jacket HS138 yellow Medium [ASIN: B006HT2WBI] ------------- Begin message ------------- Dear The Deal Rack and [Bovina Bloviator], This email is being sent to you by Amazon to notify and confirm that a return authorization has been requested for the item(s) listed below. The Deal Rack, please take action on this return request in the Manage Returns section of your seller account. You can also respond to the buyer by replying to this e-mail. [Bovina Bloviator], the information below is confirmation of the items that you have requested to return to The Deal Rack. No additional action is required from you at this time. Order ID: 105-9428362-3853848 Item: Harvard Square Pullover Hooded Nylon Pouch Jacket HS138 yellow Medium Qty: 1 Return reason: Defective/Does not work properly Buyer comments: Lower hem torn. Request received: May 21, 2012 Sincerely, Amazon Services ------------- End message ------------- For Your Information: To help arbitrate disputes and preserve trust and safety, we retain all messages buyers and sellers send through Amazon.com for two years. This includes your response to the message above. Amazon.com uses filtering technology to protect buyers and sellers from possible fraud. Messages that fail this filtering will not be transmitted. We want you to buy with confidence anytime you purchase products on Amazon.com. Learn more about Safe Online Shopping (http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=10412241) and our safe buying guarantee (http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=537868).

Correspondence from The Deal Rack:

Dear [Bovina Bloviator], Thank you for contacting The Deal Rack. We have received your email and will respond to you within one business day. We answer emails and the phone Monday through Friday from 9:30AM to 5:30PM EST. Thank you again for contacting us. We will write you back shortly. ___________________________ The Deal Rack Name Brand Clothes for Less Service: M-F 9:30AM-5:30PM 888-755-7225 (toll free) ------------- End message ------------- For Your Information: To help arbitrate disputes and preserve trust and safety, we retain all messages buyers and sellers send through Amazon.com for two years. This includes your response to the message above. Amazon.com uses filtering technology to protect buyers and sellers from possible fraud. Messages that fail this filtering will not be transmitted. We want you to buy with confidence anytime you purchase products on Amazon.com. Learn more about Safe Online Shopping (http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=10412241) and our safe buying guarantee (http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=537868). [commMgrTok:A2C3WYFACM9NLG]

Further correspondence from The Deal Rack:

Dear [Bovina Bloviaotor] - Amazon Marketplace, Thank you for your email and interest in The Deal Rack! I'd be happy to help you. This email acknowledges our receipt of your return request. You will receive an additional email through Amazon with return information including your Return Authorization Number (RA#) and our returns mailing address once your request is reviewed by our returns department. This review could take 1 - 2 business days. Please rest assured that as long as your initial request was received within 14 days of the receipt of your order, your request will not be denied for exceeding our return policy time period. For your convenience, our return policy follows below. Let me know if you have any other questions. Remember that we do refunds for all returns. Thank you for giving us a try and we hope you'll keep shopping with us! RETURN POLICY: If you are unsatisfied with an item (other than wholesale bulk lots) for any reason, return it within 14 days of purchase in new, unworn, and unwashed condition with original tags attached (if applicable) for a full refund of the purchase price (excluding shipping). We apologize that we cannot do exchanges and offer refunds only. All underwear is NOT returnable. Wholesale bulk lots may be returned only if defective. All returns must have a return authorization (RA) number that we issue and must be shipped directly to us. We cannot refund returns that are either not shipped to our returns address or do not have an RA number. Please allow 10 business days for your credit to process. In the event that you need to make a return because of a mistake that we made, we will refund round trip shipping and/or take whatever other steps are appropriate Let me know if you have any other questions & thanks! Best, Marc ___________________________ Marc Schmidt The Deal Rack 888-755-7225 (toll free) Name Brand Clothes for Less :::500A000000A2nSQIAZ:::

Correspondence (the end of it, I had assumed) from your humble Bloviator to The Deal Rack:

Dear Marc,
Thank you for your message. This seems an absurdly elaborate protocol for an item that cost  $3.28 (plus $4.85 shipping). Frankly, it's not worth it. I will keep the item as it is and trouble you no longer with my business. That should be to the benefit of us both, I should think.
Yours sincerely,
[The Bovina Bloviator]

But it was not the end of it. I guess Marc wanted the last word:

Dear [Bovina Bloviator] - Amazon Marketplace, I'm sorry that an acknowledgement of your submitted return request along with an expected time frame when to expect your return merchandise authorization is anabsurdly elaborate protocol, however this is how our returns process works. A customer makes a return request, the seller acknowledges that request, then reviews said request to provide either an approval or denial, it's a rather simple standard returns process. If you no longer wish to return the item you can cancel your request with Amazon at any time in the manage returns center. Best, Marc :::500A000000A2nSQIAZ:::

Oh dear, rather snippy, Marc seems. He seemed friendlier, if a tad prosy, before. I must have hurt the poor fellow's feelings. Ah, well, perhaps this will bring our drama to a quiet conclusion:

Dear Marc,
I shall do as you suggest.
Your obedient servant,
[The Bovina Bloviator]

UPDATE: Apparently it's not that easy.

Dear [Bovina Bloviator], Thank you for contacting The Deal Rack. We have received your email and will respond to you within one business day. We answer emails and the phone Monday through Friday from 9:30AM to 5:30PM EST. Thank you again for contacting us. We will write you back shortly. ___________________________ The Deal Rack Name Brand Clothes for Less Service: M-F 9:30AM-5:30PM 888-755-7225 (toll free)

I am afraid.

UPDATE 2: La Commedia è finita! Amazon gave me a refund even though I cancelled the return request. Bravo.