From the Society Pages

Comes word from Dr. Mabuse the joyous news of nuptials between Mrs. Jane Felix-Browne of Cheshire, England, a 51 year old grandma and Mr. Omar Osama bin Laden, son of Mr. and Mrs. Osama bin Laden (which Mrs. not specified) of a cave somewhere, 27 and eligible bachelor (sort of: he only had one wife at the time). The new Mrs. bin Laden is the old-fashioned, Christian type: while she's had five previous husbands, she's had them only one at a time. Mr. bin Laden is (ironically) in the scrap metal business. The happy couple were married recently in Egypt and the blushing groom has applied, not surprisingly, for a visa to visit England.

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I think young Omar should expand his horizons a bit. Since he's already gaming the system to get entry to the UK, why doesn't he shoot for the moon and the good ol' U. S. of A. as well and find himself an aging American bride, too? I have the perfect catch for him: Cynthia Sheehan. Not only is credulous Cynthia available, she's threatening to run against right-wing reactionary Nancy Pelosi for the 8th Congressional District of California. Since that district includes San Francisco, she stands a chance of winning. If young Omar manages to bag Sheehan and she makes it to the halls of Congress, why he'll be sitting pretty indeed.