Monday, May 10, 2010

Many Happy Returns

New York's Metropolitan Transit Authority, the agency responsible for the city's trains, buses, bridges and tunnels is hemorrhaging money, a victim of declining revenues owing to the recession and colossal mismanagement. Lately the agency has been making drastic cuts in subway and bus service and threatens more of them unless it can get its financial affairs in order.

It is thus gratifying to learn that despite its severe financial woes, the MTA is digging deep beneath the sofa cushions to find the $134,000 per annum necessary to keep Chief Equal-Employment-Opportunity Officer Gloria Colon on the payroll. Ms. Colon recently displayed her incalculable worth to the MTA and city's long-suffering commuters by distributing a memo to 300 employees announcing a significant milestone in the history of mass transit: the 50th anniversary of the FDA's approval of Enovid, the first oral contraceptive.

Why thank you, Ms. Colon and a very happy anniversary to you, too.

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